This content is rated
PG-13
FOR MOCKING DISEASES
Item: Specimen 483
Name: Chris P. Chicken
Weight: 69.666 lbs
Height: 5’7
Age: 420
Containment Classification: Euclid
Danger Classification: Green
AKA: Caloomphis
Description: 483 is a sentient refrigerator who works as the sole cashier at a Chipotle in Pierre, South Dakota. He is usually nice to other people, however, this is just a facade to hide his true personality. When provoked, 483 will resort to eating the person whole with his mouth and swallowing them in less than 7 seconds. The swallowed person will often stay in his stomach alive for up to 4 minutes, before being dissolved by the cancerous acids that reign in his body, whether it would be stomach acid or cringy Tik tok celebrities. Either way, cancer will kill you. He is also known for unintentional public indecency. Every time he coughs, his pants fall down.
Containment: 483 is very shallow and scrawny, so containment is easy. He must be contained in a human-size Panera Bread bag, stapled shut in every corner. 483 is physically incapable of breaking anything that isn't owned by Chipotle.
Created by TheVenomoth
Owned by Armadillo Tree
This specimen has scored on the LPS due to current/past popularity.
Current Score: 2398
If you search up "Caloomphis" on Bing, this specimen will be the only result (as of rn).
You told me when you sent this to me. Just because of this, I'm afraid I have no other choice but to upvote.
The reason why is because apparently this name was unique and close enough to the top of the page to be the only recognized page by the search engine. You can use this specimen and tell people to search up "Caloomphis" on Bing to get them to this website. This specimen could very well make advertising of this website easier.